Where Is My Faith

Matt. 17:20 “And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to his mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.” (NASB)

I am suffering right now. I have a lot on my plate. I have a lot on my mind. I am in God’s Word searching for answers. I am on my knees in prayer.

I have been sick this past week, well not only this past week but the past 3 months. Not sick with a cold but sick in the heart. Sick with fear. Sick with depression. Sick with anxiety.

Much has gone on with my wife being sick. She’s on the road to recovery but it has been hard for her. Now our finances are close to being in the ruins, are in the crapper, biting the big one, in other words big time serious trouble. I have the fear of losing our home.

I can’t journal any more. I have no desire to blog. Every day I am having a hard time writing. I am not energetic. I just don’t have the fire or desire to write anything at any time.

I am even ashamed to say I am having a difficult time going out and preaching the Gospel. I am having a difficult time going out and hitting the streets with my street ministry. I am having a difficult time helping people who need it most.

Some say don’t worry about it, you’re in a dry season. I disagree with them. I think my problem is more harsh than that.

Deep down inside I already know this and I know it is not right. But I can tell I am suffering greatly with my faith right now. Doubt is overwhelming me. It has consumed me to the point I am dead and useless to God. At least that is how I feel.

God doesn’t want that. God is whispering in my ear to give everything to Him and then trust in Him fully. But right now I just can’t do it. I am holding on to my problems with the grip of death and just won’t let go.

God wants to bless me with the desires of my heart. But first I need to trust in Him. Yes, He is working on me. Maybe you can say He is pulling me backwards through the knothole.

Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him—a faith that says, “I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do.” I am struggling mightaly with that.

I believe Job had the highest and the greatest expression of faith in the whole Bible,
Job 13:15 “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (NIV)

Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried.

James 1:3 “knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurence.” (NASB)

Difficult? Not For God!

Currently I am living through many difficulties.

Genesis 18:14 Is anything too difficult for the LORD?

No nothing is too difficult when we believe in Him and go forward doing His will and letting Him do the impossible for us. Nothing is too impossible for our loving Father when we trust in Him.

My Firey and Rough Stormy Weather

I have been pondering about why it seems that I am not at the present moment strong at peace and why I haven’t been blessed for awhile and that I am walking through fire and rough water.

Maybe it’s because I am thick headed and it takes me a little longer to learn the lessons God takes me through. So then I can get out of my bouts of depresson and God takes my faith to the level He wants me to be.

I do know that everytime I do come out of a conflict I am filled with peace and blessings beyond my wildest imaginations that God gives to me. Some of the stuff that has happened just amazes me.

Only if I will always look to God when the fierce fires come my way and never try to be strong on my own because I cannot make it without Him as he will sustain me and bring me through the rough stormy firey times in my life.

Joyful Noise

Joyful Noise – Official Music Video: FLAME feat. Lecrae & John Reilly

Listening For God’s Voice

I am continually searching God so I can become closer to Him and talk to Him in order to constantly build and strengthen my relationship with Him. I have the desire to get to know Him better. I am always learning what He expects of me, and what I can expect from Him. I also want to find out how I can best accomplish the things that He wants me to do. I am seeking God in order to seek His advice and help. And so I can see and know His existence and awesome power. And doing this shows Him that I have trust, faith, and confidence in Him.

When I talk to God I talk to Him as if I was talking to my best friend. Even though He already knows I still come to Him and tell Him my thoughts, desires, hurts, and problems, as well as I give Him thanks and praises.

Talking to God not only tells God that I have knowledge of Him but that I also have faith in Him. By talking to God it tells Him that I have a desire for His presence in my life and that I need Him and I am dependent on Him. It also shows God and that I want to be obedient to Him. I tell Him these things because He wants to hear these things from me. He already knows what they are but he wants me to tell them to Him. He wants me to make the effort to talk to Him and not to take Him for granted.

And for me it is really joyous when I devote time to talk to God and to read, study, and memorize His Word. And I take great comfort when Jesus Christ is constantly talking to me giving me guidance, encouragement, and teaching me throughout each and every day.

As I said earlier I talk to God as if He is my best friend. I don’t talk to Him only when I am in trouble and need help. I set aside periods of time during each day just to talk to Him. I am always keeping open the channels of communication between God and me. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 (16) Rejoice always (17) Pray without ceasing (18) in everything give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I feel as if I put great joy in Jesus’ heart when I think about Him and take time out of each and every day to talk to Him.

Listening to God is the most important thing that will ever happen to my life. My entire eternal future is based on me hearing God speaking to me, and whether or not I listen to Him. It is for this reason that I need to not only talk to God constantly about everything, but I must also listen for God to speak to me. And the best way for me to listen for God to speak to me is when I look in my heart and my mind for His answer. God doesn’t speak to me in some divine way or somehow speak to me verbally. Rather He speaks to my heart, to my mind, to my sense of moral righteousness and fairness, and to my sense of what is right and Godly. When Jesus Christ is dwelling within me He is communicating constantly within my heart, conscience, soul, and spirit. His answer sometimes comes to me in that certain feeling that I have which is that unexpected feeling that came out of no where and that shines additional light on the problem. And sometimes His answer may lie in that sudden pause I experience that gets me to thinking about a different path to take.

I see God when He is carrying my burdens, when He is lighting my paths, and when He is nestling me in His arms. When I surrendered to Him, I am able to see God all day long.

I listen to God speak to me through his Word. As mentioned above, God uses the Bible as His foremost tool to impart His daily instructions to me. That is why it is so very important for me to read His Word on a daily basis. It is because I want God to direct me along the spiritual path and have a direct impact on the problems I am facing and find the specific answers to the questions that I have.

I want to listen to God through the Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit is with me every second of the day. It is the Holy Spirit who teaches me, guides me, and instructs me. It is the Holy Spirit who is my helper and educator. It is the guidance of the Holy Spirit that is going to bring Jesus Christ into your life. The Holy Spirit is the one who opens my heart and mind to His teachings and instructs me how to lead a life that is pleasing to God.

I listen to God speak to me when I pray. God communicates with me when I pray. That is because it is usually the time when I best concentrating on God, and this makes my heart and mind accessible to the voice of God. It is in prayer when I have a one-on-one conversation with Almighty God. It is in prayer that God can impress His desires in my spirit, have impact on my mind, and have the ability to change my heart. My prayer gives God the authority to have incredible communication with me.

I listen to God speak to me through other believers. When I am faced with a problem or have a question, I will go to other believers because they will give me good Godly advice that is based on the Bible.

I listen to God speak to me through divine circumstances. I am living under heavenly guidance and many times God will do certain things in my life that will absolutely astound and amaze me. Many times these happenings are absolutely incredible, and I know they are the miraculous works of God. He had His hand in all of my situations.

God talks to me in unlimited ways. He has led me to other Godly people for certain answers. He has guided me to certain verses in His Word or sometimes to other literature for answers. He has arranged my future circumstances so that those specific things become very visible and I find the answers there. And sometimes I have even seen an answer in another person whom God has brought across my path.

And He has used many other forms of communication that I have not listed above.
The possible ways in which my Loving Father can talk to me and answer me is absolutely incredible.

Francis Chan on The Purpose of the Church Parts 1, 2, and 3

The Purpose of the Church, pt. 1

 

The Purpose of the Church, pt. 2

 

The Purpose of the Church, pt. 3

Crazy Love

Francis Chan on Life Today ( Part 1 )

 

Francis Chan on Life Today ( Part 2 )

Perserverance

Perseverance, Pt 1

 

Perseverance,  Pt 2

 

Hurting Heart

Lately I have been experiencing a heart attack. No, this is not the physical bodily kind of heart attack. But this is the kind that is affecting my overall spiritual health due to the lack of letting go of something and being able to truthfully forgive. I just have had a hard time getting over this incident. And I know it is satan trying to instill this negative attitude in me.

When something affects me like this because I have a hard time of letting go of a past hurt or when someone has just recently done me wrong, I start to nurse a grudge. Then that creates a spot of hardness in my heart. And it becomes painful for me.

If I let this go on and on then over time layers and layers of hardness accumulate. Then my heart becomes stiff and insensitive. Once this happens then I see that I have a hard time not only being able to give love but being able to receive it too.

I need to learn to drop to my knees in my heart ache of pain.

So I need to work through difficulties that will enable me to put hostilities aside. So there is no  need to have lost time due to senseless anger.

I need to choose to put away all bitterness and wrath. I need to forgive ALL those who have wronged me and hurt me. I need to then ask God to heal my heart.

Ephesians 4: 31-32 (31) Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (32) Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ask, Seek, Knock

Erwin McManus -  Ask, Seek, Knock